1
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:06,571
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:10,642
♪ Traveled down the road
and back again
3
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,077
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:16,981
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:20,251
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:25,590
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:30,061
♪ You would see the biggest
gift would be from me
8
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,863
♪ And the card attached
would say
9
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:38,370
♪ "Thank you
for being a friend"
10
00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:13,071
Ma, did you have a sardine
sandwich for lunch again?
11
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:18,276
Dreyfuss!
12
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:21,345
Ma, what the hell
is Dreyfuss doing here?
13
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:23,982
Calm down. I just
ran into Harry Weston.
14
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,550
They're all leaving town, and they
needed someone to watch Dreyfuss.
15
00:01:26,552 --> 00:01:28,954
I volunteered.
Yeah, well, unvolunteer.
16
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,856
Why? You think I can't do it?
You think I'm irresponsible?
17
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,191
Yes, Ma.
18
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,826
You think I'm forgetful?
Yes, Ma.
19
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:38,429
You think I'm irresponsible?
You already said that.
20
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,497
That's emphasis.
21
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:42,200
You never heard
the "I have a dream" speech?
22
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:44,669
Ma, face it.
You cannot be trusted.
23
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,138
Every time you get yourself
into something like this,
24
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,007
I end up covering for you.
25
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:52,844
I am not gonna end up
taking care of this dog.
26
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:56,715
Did I ever mention that I almost
died giving birth to you?
27
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,987
The pain was so intense, they
gave me a towel to bite on.
28
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:04,623
They gave you a towel
at the hospital?
29
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:09,093
What hospital? You were born on a
pinochle table at McSorley's bar.
30
00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:11,429
Hospital?
31
00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:13,431
Like your father was
a member of the Etna family.
32
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:18,036
The closest he ever got to a hospital
was when he came to deliver ice.
33
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,305
Ma, guilt is not gonna work.
34
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,772
You're right, Dorothy.
35
00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:24,041
I was naive to think
you'd give an old woman
36
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:27,579
one last chance to regain
her daughter's respect.
37
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:30,715
Now I guess I'll just
stick my head in the oven...
38
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,385
All right, Ma!
39
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,986
Maybe guilt will work.
40
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,955
But, Ma, this is the last time.
41
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,324
Oh, thanks, pussycat.
You won't regret it.
42
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,660
Now, would you mind taking
him out for a walk tonight?
43
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:46,331
Ma, forget it, forget it.
The dog is all yours.
44
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,868
Oh, come on.
45
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:53,939
Why is there a big
hairy beast in my house?
46
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:57,075
My guess is because
he bought you dinner.
47
00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:01,446
Well, Blanche, I gotta run.
48
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:04,215
Well, thank you for
a lovely afternoon, Gary.
49
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:06,150
I hope I see you
again real soon.
50
00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:07,919
You can count on it.
51
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,488
Bye, Gary.
52
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,358
Well, you and Gary certainly
seem to have hit it off.
53
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,627
Well, why shouldn't we?
The man's perfect.
54
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,462
He only owns the most
successful chain
55
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,264
of funeral homes
in Greater Miami.
56
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:23,868
With this heat wave
we're having,
57
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:28,006
he's got 'em stacked up like
firewood in all four locations.
58
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:33,445
Hi, girls. Is she here yet?
Who, Rose?
59
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,214
My sister. I left you a note
on your bathroom mirror.
60
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,050
Why did you leave a note
on my bathroom mirror?
61
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,253
It was the only one
that had enough steam.
62
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:49,461
Which sister is this, Rose?
63
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,796
My younger sister Holly.
64
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,698
Frankly, I'm not
too happy about it.
65
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:57,869
This is a terrible thing to say,
but I don't really like her.
66
00:03:59,605 --> 00:04:01,740
We haven't gotten along
since we were kids.
67
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,441
Why is she coming here, then?
68
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,410
Well, she's here on business.
69
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,279
She's a world-renowned
flautist.
70
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,147
She plays the flute?
71
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:12,350
No, Dorothy,
she plays the flaut.
72
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:15,753
It's a Scandinavian instrument
73
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,255
that looks like a tuba, except
it's got hair on the bottom.
74
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,526
Of course she plays the flute!
75
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,761
I'm sorry, I guess
I'm just a little wound up.
76
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,229
(doorbell)
77
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:28,433
That's Holly now.
Will you guys help me through this?
78
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,268
Well, sure, absolutely.
79
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,470
Thanks a million.
80
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,772
God, I hate this woman.
81
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:37,842
Holly.
82
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,810
Oh, Rose!
83
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:42,780
Oh, Rose! It's so good
to see you.
84
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,215
You look just wonderful.
85
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,484
So do you. Come on in
and meet my friends.
86
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:48,453
This is...
Wait, wait! Let me!
87
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:52,290
She's attractive, witty,
and great fun to be with.
88
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,592
This must be Dorothy.
89
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:58,229
And she's smart, sexy
and stylish to a fault.
90
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,665
This must be Blanche.
91
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:03,234
Did I get it right?
You're right.
92
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,971
Thank goodness. I worried all the
way over here I'd get it backwards.
93
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,507
I could have lived
with smart and sexy.
94
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:15,479
You do live
with smart and sexy.
95
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:17,982
Who's this?
96
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,250
Holly, this is...
97
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,419
Oh, wait, now, Rose, let me.
98
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:26,090
She's feisty, zesty, and
full of old-world charm...
99
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:27,759
Sophia!
100
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,496
She's mopey, dopey, and full
of crap, Rose's sister.
101
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,901
Don't mess with me, kid.
I have the home-court advantage.
102
00:05:56,455 --> 00:05:58,289
Honey, what you looking for?
103
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,325
Nothing.
104
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:02,560
Now, Sophia, tell me the truth.
105
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,129
All right.
Dreyfuss is gone.
106
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:04,896
He ran away?
107
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,498
No, we had a falling out
108
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,401
and agreed to
a trial separation.
109
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:12,237
Of course he ran away.
When?
110
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,338
I'm not sure.
I have it pinpointed
111
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:18,876
sometime between 10:15 today
and late last Thursday.
112
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:25,483
You have no recollection of
Dreyfuss since last Thursday?
113
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:29,420
I have no recollection,
period, since last Thursday.
114
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,156
Anything could have happened
in three days.
115
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:35,326
I just hope I'm not carrying
Steve Garvey's baby.
116
00:06:44,102 --> 00:06:45,603
Honey, listen, don't panic.
117
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,271
As soon as the girls
get home from work,
118
00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,774
we'll fan out through the
neighborhood and find Dreyfuss.
119
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,577
No go, Blanche.
I need to handle this myself. Why?
120
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,745
Because if Dorothy finds out
I lost Dreyfuss,
121
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,748
she'll never trust me
with anything again.
122
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,316
That's why I'm begging you.
123
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,918
Please, promise me,
on your mother's grave,
124
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,720
you won't breathe a word
of this to Dorothy.
125
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:03,887
You promise?
126
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:05,022
Yes, sure, Sophia.
127
00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:07,224
Good. Now I can save
what I know about you
128
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:10,495
and the twin rabbinical
students for another time.
129
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:16,667
(doorbell)
130
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,573
Hi, Rose.
131
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,075
Hi, Gary. Come on in.
132
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,843
I just wanted to drop off
Blanche's earrings.
133
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,079
They must have fallen off
in my car the other night.
134
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,481
I'll get Blanche.
She's in the kitchen.
135
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,083
No, don't do that.
136
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:35,086
Actually, there's something
I want to talk to you about.
137
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,588
What is it, Gary?
138
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:41,426
Rose, I find you
very attractive.
139
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:46,931
Much more attractive than most of
the women I come in contact with.
140
00:07:50,569 --> 00:07:54,138
Aren't most of the women
you come in contact with dead?
141
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,609
What I was talking about is us.
142
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,045
Would you consider
going out with me?
143
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,714
What about Blanche?
144
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:06,084
I think it would be best
if she stayed at home.
145
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:09,353
Unless you know something
that I don't.
146
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:12,055
You're disgusting!
147
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:15,760
Gary, hi!
What are you doing here?
148
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:18,396
I was just bringing back
your earrings.
149
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,030
Well, I've gotta run.
150
00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:22,333
Thank you.
See you Saturday?
151
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,369
You bet, darling.
152
00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:29,007
Rose Nylund, if I
didn't know better,
153
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,709
I might think you were
tryin' to steal my boyfriend.
154
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,311
I'm innocent, Blanche.
155
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,746
I know it.
That's why Gary's dating me.
156
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:38,650
Ha ha ha!
157
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:43,154
He's a lewd, horny, oversexed
beast with five hands!
158
00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:46,857
You don't have to build
him up to me, honey.
159
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,693
I like him fine already.
160
00:08:52,898 --> 00:08:55,032
It's 5:00.
Where's Holly?
161
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,433
Out with Dorothy, I think.
162
00:08:56,435 --> 00:09:00,004
Still? Oh, I'm gonna owe
Dorothy big for this one.
163
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,372
You know something, Rose?
164
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,207
I don't think you're
being fair to Holly.
165
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,509
Now I spent three afternoons
with her this week,
166
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:08,379
and she was lovely
company each time.
167
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,316
Last night she even
took me out to Antonio's.
168
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:15,153
Antonio's? But that's right down by my office.
Why didn't you guys call?
169
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:18,823
Holly did call.
She said somebody said you weren't there.
170
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,458
But I was.
Well, I guess it was just a mix-up.
171
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:25,263
The point is, we had a terrific time.
I really like Holly.
172
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,898
(laughter) Holly!
173
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:32,804
That has to be one of the funniest
stories I've heard in ages.
174
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,573
Doesn't Rose ever tell
St. Olaf stories?
175
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,541
All the time.
176
00:09:39,945 --> 00:09:42,546
Hello, Blanche. Hi, Rose.
Hi, darling.
177
00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:45,716
Well, it sounds like you
girls had a nice afternoon.
178
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:48,886
Nice doesn't begin
to describe it.
179
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,154
We went shopping,
180
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:52,056
we had lunch, we saw a movie,
181
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,726
and we picked up theater
tickets for tonight.
182
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,995
Oh, great.
What are we seeing?
183
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,929
Oh, I feel terrible.
184
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,965
See, you told me you'd
probably be busy tonight,
185
00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:05,837
so I just got seats for
Dorothy and Blanche and me.
186
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,106
Oh, well, honey, don't worry.
You can have my ticket.
187
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,108
Oh, no, Dorothy,
that wouldn't be fair.
188
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,043
No, the three of you should go.
189
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,812
And we can meet
for coffee afterwards.
190
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:17,682
Oh. Great.
191
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,050
She's doing it again.
192
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,353
First it was Antonio's,
then it was the tickets.
193
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,455
She's leaving me out
intentionally.
194
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,624
Rose, they were just
misunderstandings.
195
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,494
Now you're overreacting.
I guess so.
196
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,596
Oh, these things happen
between sisters all the time.
197
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,565
I remember once
my sister Virginia
198
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,133
wouldn't talk to me
for a month,
199
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,236
all because I smiled
at her boyfriend.
200
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,804
There. Listen to Blanche.
201
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:44,876
Of course, I was skinny-dipping
on his property at the time.
202
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,078
Don't listen to Blanche.
203
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,646
All right, it was his bathtub.
204
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,783
We were blowing suds off of
each other when she walked in.
205
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:55,053
Blanche, what is
the point of this story?
206
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:58,822
Point? There's no point.
I just like telling it.
207
00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:11,469
Well, Blanche,
what do you think?
208
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,271
Sophia, what have you done?
209
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:17,075
Saved my puckered little
Sicilian behind, that's what.
210
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,310
When Dreyfuss didn't come
home again this morning,
211
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,213
I went to the pet shop and got a duplicate.
Amazing, isn't it?
212
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,382
Yeah, except for one thing.
213
00:11:32,123 --> 00:11:34,726
Dreyfuss came home
this afternoon.
214
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,461
Holy cow!
215
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:39,197
Don't worry, just take that
dog back to the pet shop.
216
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,866
I can't, the pet shop's
closed till Monday.
217
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,401
(Dorothy) Somebody help me
with the groceries.
218
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,337
Oh, great. That's Dorothy.
219
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:49,207
I gotta get both dogs into
my room. Come on, boys.
220
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,043
You know, Sophia, I'm not too
sure that's a good idea.
221
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,144
Dorothy sees me with these two,
222
00:11:54,146 --> 00:11:55,813
she'll know I screwed up.
223
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:58,749
Yeah, but there's something I think
you're not considering here.
224
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,450
Sophia!
225
00:12:00,452 --> 00:12:03,621
Oh, dear. Sophia, I think
you're makin' a big mistake.
226
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,922
I just need to keep the new
dog hidden till Monday.
227
00:12:05,924 --> 00:12:08,292
It's a piece of cake.
That's not the mistake I mean.
228
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,061
With both those dogs
in the same room,
229
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,696
how are you gonna know which is the
old one and which is the new one?
230
00:12:17,268 --> 00:12:18,869
I'm screwed.
231
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,376
Oh, come on,
help me with these.
232
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,512
We have to meet Holly at
the movies in ten minutes.
233
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,081
OK.
234
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,584
I am so mad, I could spit.
Rose, what happened?
235
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,752
It's Holly.
Those directions she gave me
236
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,422
for meeting you guys
for lunch were totally wrong.
237
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,391
Come on, now, Rose, you don't think
she did that to you on purpose?
238
00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:43,461
Well, I do.
Oh, honey, that's silly.
239
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:44,862
You don't know Holly.
240
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,298
She just got her
directions all mixed up.
241
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,699
It was a mistake.
242
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,301
Just like it was a mistake
243
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,968
leaving me out of dinner
at Antonio's,
244
00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,572
and a mistake leaving me
home from the play?
245
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,940
Rose, you are
overreacting to this.
246
00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,311
Now calm down. Let's just
go and enjoy the movie.
247
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,380
What movie?
248
00:13:04,082 --> 00:13:06,083
We're meeting Holly.
249
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,751
Didn't she mention it to you?
250
00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:10,187
No! And I'll suppose
you'll say
251
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:11,923
it's just a silly mix-up.
252
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:15,259
Well, I'm not falling for that again.
I'm not going.
253
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,761
Fine, Rose, fine.
But I do think it's time
254
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,264
that you realized that
Holly is a terrific person
255
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,167
and would not do anything
to hurt you or anybody else.
256
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:26,703
And the sooner you realize that,
Rose, the happier we'll all be.
257
00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:28,972
Come on, Blanche.
258
00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:54,298
Another slice
of cheesecake, Blanche?
259
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,000
Oh, I really shouldn't.
260
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,468
Honey, what harm can it do?
261
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,270
Lately you've been
eating like a bird.
262
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,738
Yeah, Rodan.
263
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:08,712
Oh, girls, I'm so glad
you're still up.
264
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:11,916
I need to talk to you.
I have a problem.
265
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,318
Oh, honey, we know you do.
266
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,921
You gotta stop buying
your hair colorin'
267
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:21,158
out of the 99-cent-or-less
bin at the Pic 'n Save.
268
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,061
This problem has to do
with Holly.
269
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,797
Her hair's not the color
of a Twinkie.
270
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:31,102
Holly has done
something terrible,
271
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,870
Blanche, and I think
you ought to know...
272
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,438
Listen, darling,
whatever it is,
273
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,473
I'm really not interested.
274
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:39,443
What? Blanche and I have
been talking about this.
275
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,178
There is a problem, all right,
276
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,946
but it's not between
us and Holly,
277
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,715
it's between you and Holly.
278
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,917
Ever since she arrived, you've
been trying to convince us
279
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,952
that she's been doing
terrible things.
280
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,954
And, Rose,
it simply isn't true.
281
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,423
See, we happen to like Holly.
282
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:54,959
So, whatever the problem is,
283
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,793
will you just kind of
leave us out of it
284
00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:59,263
and you settle it with her, OK?
285
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:05,970
All right, Rose, out with it.
286
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,738
What did Holly do
that's so terrible?
287
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,441
Why do you care?
You won't believe me anyway.
288
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,410
Hey, Sicilians can always
recognize two things -
289
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,012
when someone is
telling the truth,
290
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:17,581
and when they've had
their fingerprints changed.
291
00:15:20,852 --> 00:15:23,187
I know whatever you're
gonna say is the truth.
292
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:26,657
This afternoon I saw Blanche's
boyfriend, Gary Tucker,
293
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,626
kissing my sister Holly.
294
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:32,029
Oh, please.
You're such a liar.
295
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:35,333
I swear on my mother's grave.
296
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,001
OK, OK, I believe you.
297
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,069
What should I do, Sophia?
298
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:42,673
Well, this is a very complex
and perplexing question.
299
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:46,109
It has to do with honesty,
friendship,
300
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:49,880
love, hate...
all the biggies.
301
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,582
So what should I do?
302
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:52,783
Please!
303
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,785
Socrates sat under
an olive tree in a sheet
304
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,188
for years thinking about
this kind of stuff.
305
00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:00,224
I'm a poor immigrant with
a third-grade education.
306
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:01,925
Give me two minutes!
307
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:05,763
Sorry.
308
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,131
OK. I got it.
309
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,467
My Uncle Carlo
always used to say,
310
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,404
"Honesty is
the best policy."
311
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:17,274
Of course, Uncle Carlo died
a penniless drunk.
312
00:16:17,276 --> 00:16:19,043
I don't understand.
313
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:22,345
The point is, if you're honest
every second of every day,
314
00:16:22,347 --> 00:16:24,281
it doesn't always
turn out for the best.
315
00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,117
That was the case
with my Uncle Carlo.
316
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,952
He honestly remembered
the license number
317
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:32,890
of the trigger man
in the Sanducci vendetta.
318
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:37,027
So what you're saying is that because
nobody's gonna believe me anyway,
319
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,096
I'm better off
if I let people find out
320
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:41,098
what's going on for themselves.
321
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,267
I wouldn't chisel that
into a stone tablet,
322
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:46,704
but it sounds serviceable
at this hour.
323
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:50,140
Oh, thanks a lot, Sophia.
Good night.
324
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,076
Uh, hold it, Rose.
325
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,911
I need some advice too.
326
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:56,580
You need advice from me?
327
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:59,817
Yeah, frightening, isn't it?
328
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,718
It's about Dreyfuss.
329
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,722
OK. What about Dreyfuss?
330
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,223
The other day I thought
he was lost,
331
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,959
so I got a second dog, and
then the first one came back.
332
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:12,162
Sophia, are you kidding me?
333
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:13,997
Come see for yourself.
334
00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:20,237
Wow, two Dreyfusses.
335
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:22,239
No, one Dreyfuss.
336
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:24,208
I want to return the second,
337
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,577
but I don't know how
to tell which is which.
338
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,578
That's where you come in.
What do I do?
339
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,447
Well, there's only
one thing I can think of.
340
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,082
We used to do it
back on the farm,
341
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:34,284
and I may be a little rusty,
but it's worth a shot.
342
00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:37,421
Whatever it is, do it.
I'm desperate.
343
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:39,089
OK.
344
00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,424
Here goes.
345
00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:44,795
Dreyfuss, come here, boy!
346
00:17:54,772 --> 00:17:56,573
This one's Dreyfuss.
347
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:09,286
I don't get it, Blanche.
This isn't like you.
348
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:12,656
Come on, Gary calls at the last
minute, cancels your date.
349
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,325
You're not the least bit
upset or suspicious.
350
00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:17,394
Well, Dorothy,
give me some credit.
351
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:19,396
What kind of person
would doubt a man
352
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:22,032
whose mother needs emergency
gallbladder surgery
353
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:25,235
to save her life?
354
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:28,204
Besides, the hospital said the
operation would take five hours,
355
00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:31,842
and that restaurant just would not
hold our reservations past 8:30.
356
00:18:34,412 --> 00:18:35,746
Blanche, Dorothy!
357
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:39,150
I wasn't expecting you
home till later.
358
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:40,550
Well, I got off work early,
359
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:43,087
and Blanche's plans
were canceled.
360
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,989
So what are you up to
tonight, Holly?
361
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:48,758
Oh, nothing. Just a quiet
evening at home.
362
00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:07,711
Where did those pants
come from?
363
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,213
According to the label,
The Gap.
364
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:16,353
Hold it, Dorothy.
Don't you get it?
365
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,589
Holly has company!
366
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,525
Well! Nice going, girl.
367
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,060
You're a pretty fast worker.
368
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,829
I guess that's something
we have in common.
369
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:35,972
That's something else
you have in common.
370
00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:43,913
Gary Tucker. You miserable,
no-good lowlife!
371
00:19:43,915 --> 00:19:46,250
You told me your mama
was havin' surgery.
372
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:49,253
She is.
373
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:51,088
Blanche, please let me explain.
374
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:54,124
Why? So you can make up
some cockamamie story
375
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:57,027
about how you're two ships
that passed in the night
376
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,762
and it'll never happen again?
377
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,597
Save your breath,
I've heard all that before.
378
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:03,967
You have? Yes, only usually
I'm one of the ships.
379
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:11,175
Well, Rose, it's all
out in the open now.
380
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,976
I can see that.
381
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:20,484
Holly, I'd like to speak with
you in the kitchen, please.
382
00:20:21,952 --> 00:20:25,689
Well, uh, I'll just
grab my pants and go.
383
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,625
(barks)
384
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,296
Holly...
385
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:36,566
Rose, I don't need
a lecture. It's over.
386
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:38,502
No, it's not.
387
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,136
I'll leave in the morning.
388
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,306
Obviously, I won't be
coming back.
389
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:45,742
So that's where it ends?
Well, that's neat, isn't it?
390
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:49,012
You walk in here, borrow
my friends for a while,
391
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:50,981
then start acting
like a stupid jerk
392
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:54,685
and waltz right out
as if nothing ever happened.
393
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,954
Do you want an apology?
394
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,722
I want an explanation.
395
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,957
Holly, I can't figure you out.
396
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:04,528
You're smart, you've got a
career, you're attractive.
397
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:09,166
Why do you always have
to act like such a jackass?
398
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:14,004
Maybe I just never learned to be the
great person my big sister was.
399
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,740
Oh, Holly.
It's true, Rose.
400
00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:18,876
You always had the friends.
I didn't.
401
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,278
You had boyfriends,
girlfriends.
402
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,515
You were friends with every
animal on the farm.
403
00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:27,685
I never learned
how to make friends.
404
00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:30,120
You never learned
how to keep friends.
405
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,856
You never thought
of anybody but yourself.
406
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:35,192
It's about time you
stopped looking around
407
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,626
for other people to blame.
408
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,529
This is your problem.
409
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,831
Oh, I always used to feel
so guilty
410
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,300
for not getting along with you,
411
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,902
but that's over.
412
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:46,403
Just because we're sisters
413
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:48,806
doesn't mean we have
to be friends.
414
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:53,810
I'd like to be someday, but you're
gonna have to make the first move.
415
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:55,211
Goodbye, Holly.
416
00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:07,858
Honey, are you all right?
417
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,359
I'm fine.
418
00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:12,696
Oh, Rose, honey, can you
ever forgive us?
419
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,298
Well, it all depends.
420
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:15,932
Will you believe
what I say from now on,
421
00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:17,668
even if it isn't
what you want to hear?
422
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,870
Oh, of course we will.
423
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,404
Will you believe me
when I tell you
424
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:23,607
that somebody isn't
as nice as they seem?
425
00:22:23,609 --> 00:22:25,509
Of course we will.
426
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:28,178
Will you believe me when I tell
you about how our pig Lester
427
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,246
always predicted
the Best Supporting Actor
428
00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:32,516
Oscar winner
every year since 19...
429
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:35,352
Don't push it, Rose.
430
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:37,988
OK, I forgive you.
431
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,256
Oh, there he is.
432
00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:40,858
I've been looking
all over for that dog.
433
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,225
Harry Weston just pulled up.
434
00:22:42,227 --> 00:22:43,794
Time for Dreyfuss to go home.
435
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,461
Now, see, that wasn't
so bad, was it?
436
00:22:45,463 --> 00:22:46,897
No, you're right.
437
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:49,600
Actually, he was
very little trouble.
438
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:52,201
Yeah, no trouble at all.
439
00:22:52,203 --> 00:22:54,704
Now come on, Dreyfuss,
let's go.
440
00:22:57,942 --> 00:23:02,646
Yo, Dreyfuss!
It's checkout time.
441
00:23:02,648 --> 00:23:06,783
He's acting as though
Dreyfuss isn't even his name.
442
00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:15,259
Of course Dreyfuss is his name.
Right, Dreyfuss?
443
00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:17,927
Dreyfuss!
444
00:23:17,929 --> 00:23:19,762
Come on.
445
00:23:19,764 --> 00:23:22,665
Maybe we'll swing by the
pet shop on the way home.